


Cassiopeia & Cepheus

by murdergatsby



Series: Flufftober 2018 [9]
Category: Z Nation (TV)
Genre: Blend Feelings, Emotional Healing, Hope, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Mentions of Past Manipulation and Abuse, Mentions of canon character death, Post-Season/Series 04, Pre-Season/Series 05, Season/Series 05 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-29 01:18:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16253687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murdergatsby/pseuds/murdergatsby
Summary: Murphy asks 10K if he can feel Warren, too.





	Cassiopeia & Cepheus

**Author's Note:**

  * For [humanveil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/humanveil/gifts), [cutepoison](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutepoison/gifts).



> More for flufftober, fellas.  
> [(more info)](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1148888)
> 
> Today's prompt was _stars_.  
>  I took some mad creative liberties with this but *shrug emoji, that ao3 won't let me use but i can't communicate without*
> 
>  
> 
> **~~ THERE ARE S5 SPOILERS IN THIS, SO. PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION IF YOU'VE NOT HAD ACCESS TO THE LATEST EPISODE ~~**

The hood of the truck was still warm, so that’s where Murphy sat. He had his back against the front window, and his knees pulled up into his own torso. He looked to the night sky, and watched 10K’s head fall back in the same way- looking at the same stars, from where he leaned against the grill.

“Do  _ you _ think she’s okay?” Murphy blurted. The sound of his voice was grating against the still night air.

“Who?” 10K asked. He crossed his eyebrows, and shrugged the corners of his mouth. He looked over his shoulder and to Murphy, as if he felt Murphy was crazy.

“Who do you think?” Murphy replied. Dryly. Sarcastically. He shook his head, and rolled his eyes. He let his head rolled back against the roof of the car, and sighed.

“Warren.” Murphy clarified, before 10K’s attention completely left him. “Do you still think she’s out there?”

10K’s expression softened, but not in the way Murphy wished it would. He frowned, and let his eyes drop to the ground. He listed away. Before he spoke, Murphy knew he wasn’t hopeful.

“I don’t know.” 10K answered. He adjusted the way he held his gun. He adjusted his shoulders, and his footing. The topic made him feel stiff, and cramped up.

Warren had been a part of his life for at least five years-  _ or, was it six? _

It didn’t matter.

She felt like a sister, to him. She felt like a mother. She’d give him a reason to keep on, no matter how bad things got around him. He had once felt he would have followed her to the ends of the earth.

_ And, well, you did. _

“I think she would have let us know by now.” 10K added, quietly.

Murphy hummed with disapproval. “I dunno.” He said. “That’s getting harder and harder to do, these days. What is she supposed to do? Send us smoke signals? Release a bushel of balloons?”

“Something like that, yeah.” 10K said. He nodded and ignored the sarcasm- the argument- in Murphy’s tone. He didn’t want to dig into this. It was late.

Murphy grumbled to himself, waving his hand over at 10K as if to dismiss him. 10K didn’t move, and just went back to surveying the area for Zs. He listened to a member of the small troop they’d picked up cough, and another snore. He tried to settle back into the peace of it all.  _ While it lasted. _

“So you don’t, like,” Murphy began again. He sat up all the way, and leaned forward between his propped legs. “- _ feel _ her, or anything?”

10K whipped around to face him again. He was wide eyed. He looked  _ shocked _ . “What?” He gasped. “No. What? Why would I?”

_ Is this a trick? Is he fucking with me? _

“Well, I don’t know!” Murphy explained. He raised his hands from where he had rested them on his shins- throwing them up, and shrugging his shoulders high. “You were one of my blends, once.”

10K snarled from a place of revulsion. “Yeah,  _ once. _ ” He clarified. “I’m not anymore.”

_ How does he know that I still- _

“And I’m not  _ the blue messiah _ , anymore.” Murphy rebuked. He gestured to the red of his face. “But, I still feel Warren.”

Murphy let his attention leave the daggers in 10K’s eyes alone. He looked out at the black around them, and nervously chewed on the tip of his tongue. “I still feel  _ you _ .” He added.

10K squirmed in place. He stopped snarling. He felt himself soften around the smallness of Murphy’s voice- the smallness of his  _ energy _ . He stopped feeling the need to be so defensive. And, that made him feel unsafe.

He knew Murphy had changed. When they had met all those years ago, Murphy had been a  _ coward _ . A manipulative, selfish,  _ coward. _ He lied, and cheated, and he let people  _ die  _ for him when he had no intention of making their loss worth something. He had abducted 10K, and taken everything he knew away. He had  _ made him love him _ , and made it hurt not to. He was inhuman, repulsive, and- just,  _ a coward. _

However, that vision he had of Murphy had faded when he jumped in between his daughter and the mad Zs that bit him. It had faded even more so, when Murphy had  _ told _ Lucy not to save him- that, her life was more important than his was- because she  _ deserved to live a good life _ . He truly wanted her to have a good life, and was willing to die for her to have that. He had done the same for Warren, too. The world was already ending, and he tried to give Warren more time.

Still; 10K felt vulnerable before him and this  _ topic _ . He had trusted Murphy’s motives before, and it had only gotten him hurt. It had gotten  _ Cassandra _ hurt.

“I thought it might work both ways.” Murphy continued to ramble, due to 10K’s lack of reply. It almost sounded as if he were only talking to himself. “I thought you might be able to feel her, too.” 

Murphy closed himself back into his own knees. He pressed his cheeks to bone, and looked at the world only from over his knee-caps. 10K just kept staring at him, while he thought.

“You still feel me?” 10K finally managed to stammer. “Like you did before?”

Murphy both nodded and shrugged. “There was a period of time when I didn’t- back in Zona.” He explained. “But, ever since Lucy-” He leaned back and extended his arm. It was covered, but he looked at it like he could see the bite-marks there- clear as day; he never finished the thought because of it. “ _ I dunno. _ It’s all been coming back.”

10K exhaled, hoping to find himself grounded at the end of it. “If you can feel her,” he asked. “Why do you need me to tell you that I think she’s okay?”

Again, Murphy shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know.” He said. “Affirmation?”

_ He’s really just asking _ .

_ He’s not doing this to hurt me, or expose me. _

_ He’s just scared. _

“Sorry.” Murphy muttered. “I was just- hoping.”

10K swallowed. He wondered if he could stand just, walking away. He wondered if he could stand not saying anything, and just letting this conversation die.  _ Letting Murphy keep on worrying _ . It wasn’t like it was going to kill him.

“I still feel you, too.” 10K admitted. He punctuated the claim with a shaky sigh. “And, I guess feel Warren, too.”

Even in the dark, 10K could see the way new light found the backs of Murphy’s eyes. Murphy smiled  _ from his chest _ and looked as though he may start crying. Tears very seldom  _ actually _ fell from his eyes, but this wide and glossy  _ look  _ was something 10K was familiar with. Murphy was overwhelmed.

“I think she’s okay. It’s hard to separate this from just- normal, human  _ feelings _ , but,” 10K explained. He found it easier to talk if he looked away from Murphy’s face, so he did. “ _ I think she’s okay _ . This doesn’t feel the same as when I lost-”  **_you_ ** , is what he wanted to say- but he stopped himself. He cleared his throat, and tried again. “ _ When you were in Zona.  _ When you were  _ cured _ , there was just this- empty, hollowness where you used to be. But, now- and with Warren, too- it’s different.”

“She’s gone, but she’s not  _ gone _ .” Murphy replied, hoping for confirmation that this  _ feeling _ is what 10K was also experiencing. “It’s like you can feel her energy, or something. Right?” He continued. “She feels calm, right?”

10K nodded. “Yeah. Tired, but- calm. She’s  _ okay _ .”

“She’s okay.” Murphy echoed. He smiled and nodded. It felt like he believed it. It felt like he _finally_ believer it. “Of course she is. She’s got more lives than both of us.”

10K didn’t want to take away from the peace Murphy was feeling- the happiness, maybe, that his experience with the way he felt Warren was something shared- but he had to.

“Please don’t,” 10K started, losing his confidence almost immediately. 

Murphy turned to face him. He looked genuinely concerned, and interested.

“-tell anyone.” 10K finished. Again, he felt overexposed and much too vulnerable. It felt literal- as if his chest had been opened up. However, the way Murphy just kept listening made things  _ lessen _ . He managed to make things feel okay.

10K wished that the familiarity of that didn’t upset him.

“I was afraid, before, that I was  _ relapsing _ or something.” 10K continued to explain. “I don’t want anyone else to think that.”

“Yeah, kid.” Murphy agreed. He understood the worry; he had been keeping his own comeback underwraps, too. “Of course.”

“You don’t have any control over me, anymore.” 10K snapped, just to make  _ sure _ Murphy knew that. Just to make  _ sure _ that Murphy wasn’t going to look for ways to gain off this watered down connection the two of them still held.

Murphy’s eyes widened at the tense and sudden climb in 10K’s voice, but he didn’t get mad. He nodded. “Sure.” He confirmed. “I didn’t think I did.  _ Don’t think I ever really did. _ ”

10K nodded, as if to say  _ “That’s right _ .”

Murphy moved back to his original position on the car- only, this time, he smiled along with his recline.

When 10K felt it was safe to, he let himself look back at him.

Murphy wasn’t a coward anymore. He wasn’t  _ as  _ selfish as he had been. He wasn’t as reckless, or dangerous to be around. He was still an asshole, and 10K didn’t plan on going easy on him anytime soon- but, he wasn’t a monster anymore. He didn’t think like one, and he didn’t act like one.

If it stayed that way, 10K wondered what it could mean for the two of them. He wondered where this could all go.

He knew where he wanted to take it.


End file.
